Photo courtesy of Chris Brock.
The coldest beer in the USA
by David E. Booker
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
You won’t find another
As cold and as clear tonight.
My truck broke down.
My dog died suddenly
And my woman, she left me
Running off with my brother
What else bad can there be?
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
You won’t find another
As cold and as clear tonight.
My barber’s quiet frown
Says my hair’s gone astray
Fading from my head, more each day.
Being bald makes me shudder.
I cry and throw my comb away.
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
You won’t find another
As cold and as clear tonight.
One left and eleven down.
Empties rattle in the back.
Now here comes the local flack.
He’s after me and no other.
I sip the last of the twelve pack.
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
You won’t find another
As cold and as clear tonight.
Sitting in a cell downtown
Waiting to be shipped to the jail
Nobody left to throw my bail.
Then I see my dear ol’ brother.
The look of man about to fail.
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
You won’t find another
As cold and as clear tonight.
I give him my best frown.
He walks over and says to me:
“Brother forgive and let it be
“She ran off with yet another.
“Our half-brother who’d been at sea.”
The coldest beer in the USA
Drive up and down the pike
Turn left or turn right
Sadly, we can’t have another
On this cold and clear tonight.
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