For footfalls in the snow, /
you wait like a five-year-old. /
What would Santa say? /
Filed under 2016, Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
Two writers who didn’t like each other met in a bar, as such writers often do. Each claimed it was his favorite bar and each claimed he had found it first. After several months of glowering at each other and bad mouthing each other, they agree to settle the matter with a duel of puns.
Since the tall writer won the fifth round, the short writer was allowed to go first for round six. A set of cards was placed on the table between them, face down. On each card was a subject. The short writer flipped the card over and the subject was bugs.
Props were allowed, and for each turn, each writer could make one phone call.
For round six, the rules of round five were kept in place. For round five, the rules had been amended. Each writer had to say his pun and the audience would get to pick which one they preferred. The bartender, a waiter, and a waitress would be the judges as to who got the loudest groan.
After thinking a moment, the short writer said, “A dung beetle walked up a bar and asked, ‘Is this stool taken?’”
There was a slight groan from the patrons in the bar.
The tall writer waited until things were quiet, then he said, “Time flies like a arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”
The crowd groaned, twice, and somebody laughed.
Round six was about to go to the tall writer, when somebody pointed out the tall writer wasn’t using his own material. That he was took that pun from Groucho Marx. Because he plagiarized, the round was awarded to the short writer. The short writer now had 2 wins, 2 losses, and 2 ties.” The tall writer also had 2 wins, 2 losses, and 2 ties.
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
Patricia Bartevian owns Bartevian’s on Boylston Street, around the corner from the newly installed Edgar Allan Poe statue.
Source: Meet the 92-Year-Old Who Helped Recognize Edgar Allan Poe
Patricia Bartevian sits at the counter of Bartevian’s on the first floor of 160 Boylston Street.
Glancing around the store, you almost miss her. She’s surrounded by the items she consigns—paintings, clothing, stacks of VHS tapes, jewelry, furniture, and porcelain dolls, to name a few. Her seat, in the corner of the store next to its window, has a perfect view of the sprawling display of Edgar Allan Poe souvenirs by the door. Poe is a poet who owes a thank you to the shop owner.
Bartevian, or Pat, as she’s known, has spent most of her life in this store.
“We’re a nonprofit family trust,” she explains to me. “We’ve been here over 105 years. My father started the business back in 1910 and we take things on consignment to help people.”
The 92-year-old clarifies: She was away from the store for part of her life.
“During the ’40s, my sister Priscilla and I went to Hollywood. We were in the movies for ten years,” she says. “The Hickory Sisters. We’re on Google and Yelp.”
Flipping through a large, black, three-ring binder filled with photos, Bartevian speaks affectionately of Old Hollywood.
Eventually, the sisters returned to Boston to help with the business as their father approached age 100. Bartevian has been at the store since, where she tries to make it feel “like a living room.” Her sister Priscilla painted cherubs on the store’s ceiling.
When they weren’t tending to customers or their upstairs tenants in the building, Pat and her sister realized there was nothing commemorating an author who’d once lived around the corner at 62 Carver Street. Born there on January 19, 1809, Edgar Allan Poe was never particularly fond of Boston, but was a Bostonian, nonetheless.
“We thought, ‘Well, there isn’t anything about Poe in town. We should have something,’” says Bartevian.
Poe’s home was torn down in 1959, so the Bartevians started by aiding in the installment of a plaque on a nearby building in 1989.
Though Priscilla passed away after a battle with cancer ten years ago, Pat continued to recognize Poe. In 2009, she helped in requesting that the city name the area Edgar Allan Poe Square. But most notably and most recently, she played an important role in the commissioning of the Edgar Allan Poe statue in October 2014.
The Edgar Allan Poe Foundation of Boston was formed in 2010 solely to fund the statue, and Bartevian promptly joined as its treasurer. She aided its president, John LaFleur, and chair, Paul Lewis, in fundraising efforts. As they applied for grants, Pat sold Poe baubles in her store. Poe playing cards, Poe buttons, Poe t-shirts, Poe bandages, Poe action figures, Poe bobbleheads, Poe mugs, Poe books, and even stuffed ravens sit on a few shelves.
Proceeds from the Poe gifts now go toward upkeep and maintenance of the statue.
“Without Bartevians’ physical promotion, it would have been a different project,” says LaFleur.
Bartevian put up posters and flyers for events, and gave the Poe Foundation a home in an office on the second floor of 160 Boylston.
“With everybody who came into her store, she was the person shilling for it day-to-day,” he says. “Without her, it would have been like a lot of things these days—they just unwind.”
Bartevian sees the fruits of her labor each time she heads into work: the life-size bronze statue done by Stefanie Rocknak.
“Between the suitcase with all the stories falling out and him walking to his room, it’s a very clever statue,” says Bartevian. “[Rocknak] is extremely talented.”
And as Bartevian appreciates Rocknak, the artist behind the Poe statue nods to Bartevian.
“She’s always been terrific,” says Rocknak. “She had people come into her shop to check out the marquettes (small versions of the statue), and she’s selling postcards now. I usually stop in whenever I get the chance.”
Bartevian has made a commitment in writing for her store and building to be a perpetual nonprofit location. And while there is some flexibility, the building will always have a Poe theme to support the Poe legacy efforts as well as Edgar Allan Poe Square.
“It’ll be a perpetual ‘leave the light on for Poe,’” says LaFleur. “He’ll always have a place on the first floor of Bartevian’s.”
Filed under 2016, author tribute
Time, once again, for New words to live by. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. Today’s New Word is created by combing a sound and a noun. Without further waiting, Spam fat.
OLD WORDS
Spam, v. Original a noun meant to name a food product consisting mostly of pork and formed into a block, in the digital/computer age it became a verb meaning to inundate people with unwanted e-mails, text messages, possibly even kitten photos.
Fat, n. That adipose material that shows up on your body when and where you least want, often, but not exclusively, around the fall and winter holidays.
NEW WORD
Spam fat, n. 1. That adipose material that shows up too often and too quickly because you are being inundated with too many goodies in too short a space of time. 2. Too many e-mails in too short of time offering you last-minute gifts to buy, parties to attend, and photos of parties to which you didn’t attend or weren’t invited. This also includes post-holiday spam fat offering you ways to lose those “extra holiday pounds.”
Filed under 2016, new word, New words to live by
Caught, in the moment.
Caught, in the moment: /
wind and sun and banner and /
an eye upon time.
Upon the brown grass /
glistens winter’s translucence, /
refracting wonder. /
Filed under 2016, Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
So, what’s stopping you?
Filed under 2016, writing tip, Writing Tip Wednesday
Q.: What does one minister say to another minister when proposing marriage?
A.: I would like to get to know you in a biblical sense.
Filed under 2016, Monday morning writing joke
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