Monthly Archives: November 2015

Writing tip Wednesday: “New Writer Award”

Glimmer Train Press: New Writer Award: 1st place $1,500 and publication in Issue 98. Deadline: 11/30.

Glimmer Train

Glimmer Train

  • This category is open only to emerging writers whose fiction has not appeared in any print publication with a circulation over 5000.
  • NOTE: 11 of the last 12 first-place winners have been those authors’ first print publications!
  • The 1st-place winner will be published in Issue 98 and will receive 10 copies of that issue. Second- and 3rd-place win $500/$300, respectively, or, if accepted for publication, $700.
  • Winners and finalists will be announced in the February 1 bulletin, and contacted directly the previous week.
  • Most submissions run 1,500 – 6,000 words, but stories as long as 12,000 words are fine.

Writing Guidelines: http://www.glimmertrain.com/pages/guidelines/short_story_award_for_new_writers_guidelines.php

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cARtOONSdAY: “dELIVERY”

Willard's concern was further justified when he opened the refrigerator and found a slice of pizza a padded envelope.

Willard’s concern was further justified when he opened the refrigerator and found a slice of pizza a padded envelope.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Carving up the profits”

A turkey and a writer walked into a local bar.

The turkey thought the writer could make him a flying star.

“I’ll tell you my life story and then you’ll write it down.

“And we’ll split all the profits when a publisher is found.”

The writer had heard such talk and promises before,

But with his feathers spread, the turkey was too big to ignore.

Getting to the heart of the matter.

Getting to the heart of the matter.

When the loud fowl finished gobbling about his wonderful life

The writer reached into his tattered pocket and drew out his carving knife.

What happen next to the turkey, we’re not sure we can ever tell

Only that the poor writer liked the bird, but only medium well.

Now, let this be a lesson about where the writer will start.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the knife can cut to the heart.

–by David E. Booker

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5 Common Insults That Reveal Dark Things About Society | Cracked.com

‘Slut’ or something much worse is currently tops to degrade a female perceived as promiscuous, but ‘hussy’ is a close relative and once the preferred a-bomb of past a-holes.

Source: 5 Common Insults That Reveal Dark Things About Society | Cracked.com

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“Holly’s Corner,” part seven

[Writer’s note: What began as a writing prompt — photo and first paragraph — has become at least the start of a story. I will endeavor to add short sections to it, at lest as long as there is some interest. It might be a little rough in parts, but that’s because it is coming “hot off the press,” which could be part of the fun of it. In the meantime, you are free to jump off from any part of this story thus far and write your own version. Click Holly’s Corner below to get Parts 1 – 6.]

by David E. Booker

“Possibly not,” I said, then took a bite of my sandwich. I didn’t have much money left and if this case didn’t pan out, I was going to have to look for 9 – 5 work, which was something I loathed. But a recipe? Had I stooped so low as I need to chase down some family heirloom the world had not heard of nor was likely ever to?

She pushed up from stall seat, turned, and stomped out the door.

My charming personality was working wonders again.

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly's Corner.

It was a cool, rainy day down at Holly’s Corner.

I pulled out my cell phone and was checking to see if I had any messages, any other potential clients. None. No text messages either. I was about to say something I probably shouldn’t in public when I felt somebody staring at me. I looked up. Standing near my table, casting a shadow like a greasy plate of cold fries stood Marc. Spelled with a “c” and not a “k.”

I looked up.

“Got my tip?”

“Tip means To Insure Prompt Service. Should be an E, but probably nobody would say Tep. Your service was neither prompt nor ensured. Go tell your rock climbing boss he’ll get paid when I get paid, assuming my client feels like paying.”

“That’s not the deal.”

“The original deal didn’t call for you to put my client on life support, either.”

“Not my fault.”

“Those hot chocolate burns didn’t happen by themselves.”

The tables nearest us were empty and not being refilled. Since Holly’s was a seat yourself place, I could only take that to mean Marc and I were being avoided and bad for business. I liked the place and wanted to be able to come back, but before I could think of some way to end this, Marc stepped forward, picked up the half of sandwich I hadn’t gotten to yet and brought it up to his mouth. He took a big bite.

I glanced over at the nearly empty hot sauce bottle. When Tricia left, I decided I’d have the other half the way I usually do. I looked up at Marc. His broad, dark face had an eerie placidness about it as beads of sweat popped out of his forehead and scurried down his face only to be followed by another one or two or a dozen.

I hadn’t refilled my drink and there wasn’t anything on a nearby table, so Marc dropped the rest of the Ricky Ricardo on the floor, turned and raced out of the restaurant.

Everybody’s a food critic.

#

(To be continued.)

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Photo finish Friday: “Happy Strike-a-deck-a-phobia Day”

Only a few pins were struck in the making of these photos.

Only a few pins were struck in the making of these photos.

Happy Triskaidekaphobia Day a/k/a Friday the Thirteenth. May even your thirteenth pin fall for you today.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Tickle”

Grass grows green somewhere. /

For now lawnmowers slumber. /

Rakes tickle the dead.

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Writing tip Wednesday: “New Millennium Writings”

New Millennium Writings contests

nmw-logo2

Details at: http://submit.newmillenniumwritings.org/

To apply online, follow these guidelines:

  • $1,000 Award plus publication for each category – $4,000 total awards.
  • November 15, 2015, Midnight (all U.S. time zones) – Fiction, Nonfiction, Short-Short Fiction, Poetry deadline.
  • Payment is $20 per submission and includes your free copy of the anthology.
  • Pay by credit card, debit card, or echeck with PayPal (following Upload).
  • We accept the following formats: Microsoft Word (.doc), Adobe Acrobat (.pdf), Rich Text Format (.rtf), and Plain Text (.txt). Please note that the Word format (.docx) is not accepted at this time, so if using Word, please save your file in the (.doc) format, also called Word 97-2003 Document under “Save As” options.
  • No restrictions as to style or subject matter. (except for Love Wins essays)
  • Multiple and simultaneous submissions are welcome.
  • Fiction pieces must be 6,000 words or less.
  • Nonfiction(all types welcome) pieces must be 6,000 words or less.
  • Short-Short Fiction must be 1,000 words or less.
  • Each Poetry entry may include three poems, up to five pages total. Poetry Honorable Mentions will be published.
  • Paypal provides contact information with each entry, so cover letters are not necessary. If you wish to include a cover letter, please include it on a separate page in your file. The NMW screening process is blind, so please be sure that no identifying information is displayed anywhere else in the file.
  • Entrant retains copyright of his/her Entry.
  • Mailing addresses outside the U.S./Canada may require additional postage fee to receive anthology.

Additional information: http://submit.newmillenniumwritings.org/

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cARtOONSdAY: “dEVICES”

8 literary devices humor

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November 10, 2015 · 7:10 am

Monday morning writing joke: “Juggling”

There once was a struggling writer in town /

Who made ends meet by being a clown. /

He could be quite the performer, /

Juggling balls on the street corner. /

But in his stories the balls always dragged the ground.

***

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

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