Jiggle the handle if you have to.
Filed under Cartoon, cartoon by author
Q.: What did the hard-working zombie writer named Kate call herself?
A.: Dead-i-Kate
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
There once was a man from Spokane /
who dated a woman named Diane. /
What they did they all say /
would take your breath away /
and still to this day has been banned.
Filed under poetry by author
In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.
A young Ambrose Bierce
OLD DEFINITION
Abscond, v.i. To “move in a mysterious way,” commonly with the property of another.
Spring beckons! All things to the call respond;
The trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
–Phela Orm
NEW DEFINITION
Abscond, v.i. To “move in a mysterious way,” commonly with the property of another, usually a lobbyist in order to the bidding of “the people” as conveyed by the lobbyist to the politician. The people in this case being the person, persons, or corporation that hired the lobbyist(s).
Elections beckon! All candidates to the lobbyists respond;
The people are leaving and the politicians abscond.
–d.e.b.
Filed under Devil's Dictionary
Lost souls? Lost comma? Lost apostrophe? Oh, heavens.
If you have read Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss, you know the power of the comma, the apostrophe, and other well-placed parts of punctuation. Far be it for me to comment on a man’s beliefs (Okay, maybe not that far be it.), but in this case, I think it is more a matter of the missing-in-action comma and apostrophe. As it is, this church signage can lead one to believe this church is devoted to deprogramming the devout, to redirecting the religiously inclined, to subduing the souls of those who believe.
The name of the church, which is Christian, would make more sense if the sign read, “Overcoming, Believers’ Church.” As it is, the name, particularly in large white letters on a large slate-gray building (the photo only shows a part of the church exterior) looks a bit like something out of the X-Files. The aliens have stolen our apostrophes!
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
I nuzzle your neck /
and plant moments of passion /
in folds of warm flesh.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
5 TIPS FOR WRITING SUSPENSE
by Kira Peikoff
Full article at: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/5-tips-for-writing-suspense?et_mid=693701&rid=239626420
I am a traditionally published thriller author. My latest book No Time to Die just hit shelves this week. When I first started writing suspense fiction, though, I had very little idea what I was doing. It took a humble amount of trial and error to get in a groove and overcome basic rookie errors. Now, seven years later, I like to think I’ve figured out some tricks of the trade. I’ve also been extremely lucky to receive the support and mentorship of some of the top names in the biz, like Jack Reacher’s creator Lee Child and the late Michael Palmer. So without further ado, here are some tips for budding thriller writers that I wish I’d known from day one…
1) Structure Scenes like Mini-Novels: Each one should contain its own narrative arc, with rising action and a climactic moment that signals the end of the chapter. It’s good form to finish most chapters on a cliffhanger—especially the first one. A major dramatic question should be raised in the opening scene, and then resolved in an unexpected or unfavorable way to hurl the main character further into the conflict (and thus drag your readers into the story). Get your protagonist in trouble as soon as possible and never let her get too comfortable or too safe. As far as chapter length, I’ve found that an average of five pages (double-spaced, size 12) works well for keeping up the pace.
2) Plot Strategically to Avoid the Sagging Middle: This rookie error is one I had the misfortune of making early on: I wrote the beginning of a book and then abruptly ran out of steam about sixty pages in. When you’re staring down 240 blank pages without a plan, it’s easy to freeze up. Now I have a method. Once I have the main cast of characters and their conflicts, I conceive a new book in four sections. At the end of each section, I devise a major twist to launch into the next section and keep up the narrative momentum. Once I’ve figured out my four big plot points, I go deeper into plotting the concretes of each individual section, dropping red herrings and hints about the twists to come so that they will be logical without being predictable. This is the most challenging part of the process for me and is apt to change when I actually get to writing. I think of the outline like a highway: you can go off-roading from time to time but you get back on the highway to get to your final destination.
The other three tips are:
3) Alternate Character POVs (Point of Views).
4) Obscure POV when useful.
5) Raise questions and delay the answers.
For details and a chance to win a copy of Kira Peikoff’s book No Time to Die, go to: http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/5-tips-for-writing-suspense?et_mid=693701&rid=239626420
Filed under writing tip, Writing Tip Wednesday, writing tips
The chain of command sometimes rattles more than at other times.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Book Review: John D. MacDonald Before Travis McGee – WSJ.
There’s a special kind of poignancy—amounting at times to pure excruciation—in seeing a great writer get famous for his worst books. When people bring up John D. MacDonald, they are almost always thinking of the dopey series of adventure stories he wrote about a Florida beach bum named Travis McGee. Ignored and forgotten are his early novels, 40 of them, which he poured out in one decadelong creative rush in the 1950s—thrillers, crime dramas, social melodramas, even science fiction—that taken together make him one of the secret masters of American pop fiction.
John D. MacDonald
They were meant to be commercial products, and their main appeal today is nostalgia. They’re a kind of mausoleum of postwar American machismo. McGee is the classic wish-fulfillment daydream: an idler on a permanent vacation, who lives on a houseboat on Florida’s Atlantic Coast. He is tanned, ruggedly handsome and muscular; irresistible to women (something about his rueful romantic melancholy and his preference for athletic, commitment-free sex); and intimidating to men (in the late and feeble “Free Fall in Crimson,” where McGee should by rights be filling out membership forms for AARP, his superior masculinity awes and humbles a motorcycle gang).
In novel after novel, nobody ever bests McGee, nobody ever seriously challenges him—though the bad guys do sneak up behind him and knock him unconscious so many times you wonder if he needs a neurologist on speed dial. Meanwhile, the action keeps grinding to a halt so McGee can vent his opinions on contemporary life: the best power tools, the perfect cocktail, the proper way to set up stereo speakers, the menace of air conditioning in grocery stores. These opinions are notable mainly for their unconscious philistinism—as when the perfect dinner menu proves to be this staccato bark: “medium rare, butter on the baked, Italian dressing.” No real man in those days ever ate anything but steak, potato and salad.
But then there’s the rest of MacDonald’s oeuvre. Random House is issuing these in a jumble of paperback reprints and e-book exclusives, but at least they’re there, and no longer need be scrounged out at ruinous prices from the secondhand market. These are the books MacDonald did before he invented McGee, when he was trying out every conceivable pop genre of the postwar market, from soft-core sex comedies to psychological horror.
Article continues at: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887323324904579040672688388630
Filed under book review, John D. MacDonald
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