Monday morning writing joke: “new cliché”

A fellow writer contacted me the other day and said he needed a new cliché.

A new cliché? I asked.

Yes. His editor had told him that it was okay for a character to use it in speech, but the character couldn’t use the one the writer had chosen. His editor said younger readers today wouldn’t know what “When my ship comes in” means. But, the writer said, I can’t think of a newer cliché. Even a made up on that might work. But it has to involve the arrival of something big. Can you help me?

I told him to call me back in a couple of hours and I would see what I could do.

A couple of hours passed and when he called back, I said, I have it.

Good, he said, what is it.

I said, Have your character say, “When my plane arrives on time, I’ll be a rich man.”

That’s about as likely as my ship coming in, the writer said.

Exactly, I said.