Monthly Archives: October 2013

Photo finish Friday: “Masked desires”

He didn’t understand why people were avoiding him. Granted, he had gotten up late, so he had to skip a few of the normal morning rituals, but he had showered the night before and brushed his teeth before he went to bed. And thus far this morning, he’d only had half a cup of tea. So, what was the big deal? His hair may have been a bit of a tangle, but his clothes were fresh.

He couldn’t understand it.

Then he understood it even less: women he didn’t know and had never met began giving him that slightly coy, come hither look. The one that starts with her glancing away when their eyes first meet, then with her head slightly cocked and her eyes slightly closed, she turns her gaze back to him and smiles that promisingly wicked half smile. One woman even circled her tongue over her lips.

They weren’t the type of women who were usually attracted to him, so why now?

He went to rest room in his office to comb his hair. Maybe they were making fun of him. That’s when he looked in the mirror.

He was frightened.

No, he was scared!

How could this be? Whom had he offended? What deity or person with near-divine powers had done this to him?

He tried to make a mental list of who could have done this to him. It was as much a list of distraction as a true list of candidates. There was Elinor over in accounting, whom he had snubbed at a company gathering. Not on purpose, but just the same. Then there was Bob, his neighbor, whose cat was always digging in his flowers. Not that he liked flowers all that much, but he liked the cat even less. And…

Sometimes the new you is thrust upon you.

Sometimes the new you is thrust upon you.

He finally decided to take a photo of himself. It might help him in finding out what condition, disease, curse he had. So, he did that, and then he decided to go with it. He wasn’t sure why he decided to go with his new-found condition. Maybe it was because it was near Halloween. Maybe it was because, for the first time in ages, women were actually noticing him — and men were frightened. Or maybe it was because it was simply easier this way, and sometimes easier was the way to go.

He only hoped he didn’t wake up with a turkey face as the days left Halloween and drew closer to Thanksgiving.

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The Language of Signs: London

Words and symbols in interesting places. Street signs have to say a great deal in as little space as possible, and like other communication, some work better than others.

C.B. Wentworth's avatarC.B. Wentworth

In my many years of travel, I’ve always made it a point to snap pictures of street signs or other signs that I find interesting or funny. It’s rather fascinating to observe how a culture communicates rules of the road or expected social behavior.  For example, in London, many of the signs are very polite.

At home I’m accustomed to the red Exit sign that shows me how to get out of any building. In the London Tube, however, there is what I consider a more gentle way of pointing out the exit.

At Tate Modern, this sign is posted on the elevator. I found it very thought provoking in that it asked people to be mindful instead of simply putting a wheelchair symbol and hoping for the best.

However, the use of symbols is employed around heavy tourist areas to accommodate those who don’t speak English. Around Buckingham Palace…

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Gossamer beauty”

Night time suns subdued /

Gossamer beauty released /

Passionate full moon.

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Writing tip Wednesday: “Thoughts on writing”

A series of thoughts on writing by Joe R. Lansdale

Source: http://www.joerlansdale.com/writing.shtml

Below are some excerpts from this web page. To see them in fuller detail, as well as other thoughts, go to the link listed above.

1. When I write I seldom know where it is going. I discover this every day.

2. I try and do a reasonable amount each day so I’m a hero every day.

3. I write each day until I feel myself starting to fizzle.

4. I don’t prepare for the next day’s work when I finish.

5. Another thing that works well for me is to read a little before I write.

And there are four more, which can be found at http://www.joerlansdale.com/writing.shtml

He does admonish those reading his guidelines that they are not etched in stone rules, immutable, unalterable, unchanging. He writes that anyone who takes them as hard and fast rules should be “tarred and feathered. Well, made to stand in the corner.”

He also says that writing is a passion and not an obsession for him. Passion is “good and fun.” Obsession “feels a little like you’re stalking yourself.”

______

A little about Joe R. Lansdale, from his web site:

Joe R. Lansdale

Joe R. Lansdale

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over thirty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in eighteen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Hotep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis.

For some more information on Joe R. Lansdale and his work, go to http://www.joerlansdale.com/

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cARtOONSDAY: “eNDINGS”

Reading too much into it.

Reading too much into it.

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Is Nelson’s Column Really A Giant Sausage?

Some humor from another source across the Atlantic. You may want to drop in on this blog from time to time.

gingerfightback's avatar

Yes!

nelson column

Here is the leaning tower of Pisa being supported by a giant sausage – Amazing!

pisa copy

As legendary actor Tom Hanks said, “I like towers and I like sausages so this is a win win for me.”

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Monday morning writing joke: “A programmer’s dozen”

The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”

The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

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The Devil’s Dictionary: “Corporation, Congress, Lobbyist, Tea Party”

A young Ambrose Bierce

A young Ambrose Bierce

In our continuing quest to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past and see how relevant it is, we continue with The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the words Corporation and Congress. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definition is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.

OLD DEFINITION
Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Congress, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

NEW DEFINITION
Corporation, n.The only think I could add to corporation is: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Peopled with overcompensated executives whose sole purpose is to privatize the profit and socialize the debt. In the vernacular: heads, I win (I get to keep the profit); tails you lose (You have to cover the bad debts).

A fine example of a place where congressing takes place. A place where good governing goes to die.

A fine example of a place where congressing takes place. A place where good governing goes to die.

Congress, n. A body of men and women who meet to repeal laws, generally at the behest of a corporation. This is now true of both the federal Congress and the state Congresses throughout the U.S.

Lobbyist, n. Paid influence peddler, bag man for the corporation, general thief in the night whose sole purpose on behalf of corporations is to see that Congress understands which laws are to be repealed or weakened, and how this should be done, particularly since too many lobbyists are former elected officials. Lobbyists can promote on behalf of other entities and not only corporations, but the goal is generally the same.

Tea Party, n. Cult subset of the GOP, and thus a subset of Congress. Money fueled by extreme right wing corporations and billionaires. Known for lack of ability to get what it wants, so it succeeds at punishing everybody, especially the GOP, of which it is supposedly part. Claims to be for personal responsibility, except when taking responsibility for its actions. Then it blames the media and the Washington establishment.
[Editor’s note: lobbyist and Tea Party were not terms in use when The Devil’s Dictionary was created. This entry was originally listed in 2012, but is updated to include the Tea Party. ]

Final word:
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” –MARK TWAIN

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Photo finish Friday: “A night, a fright, a bite”

"I want to suck your nuts."

“I want to suck your nuts.”

Under the guise of holiday détente, a contingency of nutcracker vampires met with their counterparts from Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the other holidays.

Citing how pumpkins and candy are traditionally part of Halloween, the leader of the group said, “If Thanksgiving can have pumpkin pies, and Christmas can have candy canes, I do not see why we can’t have Halloween nutcrackers.”

When advised that they could still not get their way, the Halloween nutcrackers stormed out of the discussions and threatened to “shut down the Holidays until we get our way.”

With Halloween soon approaching, no one is sure if Halloween we care forth on its threat to shut down the Holidays. Stay tuned for late breaking developments.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “night”

Clouds part into night /

Raindrops sparked in moonlight /

Winter reaches home.

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