Two writers are sitting at a bar, as writers are sometimes want to do.
One writer sips his drink and says, “I’m thinking of make a run for the U.S. Congress. If I do, will you vote for me?”
The other writer puts down his drink and says, “No.”
The first writer hesitates, looking visibly taken aback, but then asks, “Why not?”
The other writer says, “Because I already know all your lies.”
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Found: One wedding dress by the side of the road – PenBay Pilot.
Writing prompt. What would you do if you found a wedding dress in a bag beside the road.
Filed under Writing Prompt
First Saturday of the month and it’s time for a new word. This is a word or phrase not currently in use in the U.S. English lexicon, but might need to be considered. Other words, such as obsurd, crumpify, subsus, flib, congressed, and others, can be found by clicking on the tags below. This month’s new word is:
elastation, n. = rubbery, slippery, idiotic intellectualization of reality.
An elastation can also be bent back on itself as needed and while others may recognize the contradictory absurdity of your elastation, you probably done.
For example, recent comments by Fox talking heads who attacked President Obama for not saying he would ask for Congressional approval before attacking Syria should the Syrian army use chemical agents on its opposition, and then when President Obama did seek Congressional support, attacking him for going back on his word.
Another elastation is the owner of a coal company saying only God can create global warming. After all, if God made the coal and man is made in God’s image, then couldn’t God be doing global warming with coal through man?
Filed under new word, New words to live by
She was pumped to see the candy.
She was pumped to see the candy. And she was pumped to see the pumps. She had been looking all over town for this type of candy: handmade, locally produced, just the thing to impress him with. After all, he had always given her handmade gifts. Then she saw the shoes, the pumps made from chocolate and candy. She’d always heard that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, and she had a secret fetish of wanting a man to at least once in her life nibble and suck her toes. This was just the item. It combined both things, and he wouldn’t even have to know about her fetish until the moment he nibbled his way up to her ruby red painted toes.
Oh, could this be real? Could this actually be happening?
She wanted to click her heels like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and say, “This place is better than home. This place is better than home.”
Then the witch behind the counter yelled over at her: “I ain’t here for my health. You gonna buy or you gonna slobber?”
She thought about it for a moment and wondered what she would do if he wouldn’t nibble away her chocolate shoe? What if he didn’t even like chocolate? What would she do then?
“Well?” the witch was not pleased to be kept waiting.
“I’ll take them all,” she said, “And could you gift wrap them?”
The look on the witch’s face was beyond sour. “You know, you can’t really wear these. And you can’t bring ’em back.”
“For what I have in mind, that won’t be an issue.”
The witch shrugged and packed up all five shoes.
She young woman walked home in the cold and blowing snow. Her man would be arriving soon, so she hurried. When she got home, she left a note where here man would find it, then went straight to bed and waited … and waited … and waited….
When morning came, she awoke with a jolt. It took a moment or two before she realized what had happened. All the chocolate shoes were gone, except one, which was partially eaten, the toe area missing. She found a wrapped present in the bed beside her and a note which read:
“My dear Virginia, how you have grown. I almost didn’t recognize you. I hope you like the present. I made it especially for you. Thank you for the chocolate snacks. I tried each one on your pretty little feet and nibbled my way up to your toes. Maybe next year, we can try these. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. –S.”
Virginia ripped open the present. She stared at the gift for a few minutes before she realized what it was. She turned as red as S’s suit to think he thought of her this way.
It was almost amazing what could happen when you still believed in the jolly ol’ elf.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
If Friday were my /
lover, I’d stroke her evening /
and steady her night.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday
Connecting the dots
PenPal says:
Use an ellipsis (. . .) for:
1. The omission of a word, phrase, line, paragraph, or paragraphs; the points must always appear together on the same line. Do not split an ellipsis at the end of a line of text.
Example:
Over the clatter of dishes, Marcy could hear only certain parts of Dan’s conversation with Elicia. “I had to tell her . . . after the wedding . . . and then she blew up at me . . . not something that could be helped.”
2. Academic / research writing when indicating text removed from a larger body of text.
(I will not include an example here as this is beyond the scope of the literary writer’s needs. See style guides for scholarly writing.)
In a nutshell, ellipses should be used for missing text [and sometimes for the trailing off of dialog or thought where missing words are implied]. When using them, be sure to type and space correctly for current standard usage. The Chicago Manual of Style says this (paraphrased):
*Use only three points for general works and some scholarly writing regardless of how many words are missing or where they occur in a sentence (or between sentences).
*There should be one space between the previous word and the ellipsis.
*When typing the ellipsis, place one space between each point.
*There should be a space between the last point of the ellipsis and any following text.
*Leave no space if end punctuation follows the ellipsis.
Examples:
1. “The brightness of the students was not in question . . . At the same time, they were undoubtedly undernourished in literary minerals and vitamins.”
[Note the space before and after the ellipsis. The ellipsis lets the reader know that some of the speaker’s words are missing here.]
2. “I never meant to hurt you, Marissa, but did you really expect . . .?” John’s voice faltered, and over the roar of the plane’s engine, she couldn’t tell if he finished the sentence.
[In this example, the question mark comes immediately after the final dot of the ellipsis—no space.]
When not to use ellipsis points:
1. Before the first word of a quotation, even if the start of that sentence has been omitted.
2. After the last word of a quotation, even if the original end of the sentence has been omitted.
Note: Publishers and editors warn against overuse of the ellipsis in literary / genre writing. Use it sparingly and for best effect.
Please see The Chicago Manual of Style, “Ellipses,” for detailed and comprehensive information.
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Cathy Kodra a/k/a PenPal
About PenPal…
Cathy Kodra works as an independent editor in Knoxville, TN. Her poetry and short stories have appeared in numerous journals and anthologies including Roanoke Review, New Millennium Writings, Common Ground Review, Now & Then, Cavalier Literary Couture, Slow Trains, Still Crazy, The Medulla Review, Prime Mincer, Yemassee, and others. She is a contributing editor for New Millennium Writings and past guest poetry editor for The Medulla Review. She was first runner up in Prime Mincer’s 2011 Poetry Contest, judged by Rodney Jones, and took first place in the 2012 Old Gray Cemetery Poetry Contest. Cathy’s first poetry chapbook, Thin Ice, was published in 2011 by Medulla Publishing.
Cathy is a member of the Knoxville Writers’ Guild and of two local writing groups. An avid reader and writer, she is currently working on two poetry collections and a collection of short stories. Her hobbies include gardening and vegan cooking, and she lives happily with her husband Ron, two dogs, and a cat. She can be reached at www.cathykodra.com.
Filed under Writing Tip Wednesday
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