Monthly Archives: June 2013

Photo finish Friday: “Up in smoke”

[Author’s note: This is where you write a story, poem, even essay based on a photo. I have placed the photo a little further down in the story, but you are free to write what you want based on the photo. The photo is mine, so if you use in a blog or other publication, please give me credit: David E. Booker. Thanks.]

by DAVID E. BOOKER

It was almost the end of his shift when homicide detective C. Sparks got the call to go to possible homicide on East S. Ave. He had plans for his evening, a nice dinner with the victim of another murder case he had worked and solved only three weeks ago. The widow was so grateful that after four months he had not given up on the case and actually figured out who the murdered was and built a solid case with which the D.A. could easily prosecute … and win.

He turned from N. Center St. onto East S. and saw a blue SUV in the middle of the road, a prowl car on the other side of it. Both were in the middle of the street. Both were holding up traffic.

Detective Sparks pulled up behind the SUV. No, he’d block traffic from the N. Center side. He opened his car door and stepped out. The summer heat, even the evening version, was more than any reasonable person should stand, particularly – especially because it was being reflected back up by the baked street asphalt.

The beat cop was talking to a very animated man. Sparks glanced around. There was no body. There were no crime scene technicians. What the hell was going on? Was there a body or was somebody just trying to get him?

The beat officer saw him about the same time he saw her. She broke away from the animated man and met Sparks about halfway from his car to the blue SUV.

“What’s this about?” He looked at the name plate above left breast pocket, then added, “V. Slims.”

“It’s Virginia. Most people call me Virgy.”

“Okay. Virgy, what’s up?”

“This man claims he turned the corner on the E. Scott and out of nowhere this man appears, stops in the middle of the road to light a cigarette and before he could anything, he ran into the guy. He was sure of it. But then he stopped the car and got out and the guy was gone.”

“Yeah, it was as if he disappeared in a cloud of smoke,” the man said.

He had walked up and Sparks hadn’t noticed. Sparks knew then he had been working too many hours.

“And you are?” Sparks asked.

“Leonard M. Bold,” Officer Gordon said. “I checked his ID when rolled I up.”

“Most people call me Leo,” Bold said, extending his hand.

Sparks stared at it for a moment before taking it.

“What were you doing on this street,” Sparks asked.

“I’m in real estate and was driving through this historic neighborhood seeing if there were any houses for sale. See who has them listed. I have a client who might be interested in a historic house.”

Sparks nodded. He then walked up and around the SUV. No sign of dents or broken headlights, or any indication that it had even collided with a house fly let alone a body. The SUV gleamed so brightly, it even hurt his eyes to look at it.

Up In smoke

Up In smoke

He raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun and that’s when he saw it. Lying on the ground by a front tire, a pack of cigarettes, partially opened.

He squinted a little harder to make out the brand of cigarettes: L, M, Bold. He looked up at the man, then back down at the cigarettes, then up at the man again.

“This is a joke, right? You think you’re funny, calling me out here, Leonard M. Bold.”

“But it’s true, what I said.” Leonard walked over to where Sparks was.

“Yeah, right.” Sparks looked over at Slims. “How much you in on this, Virginia Slims? If that’s your real name. What the hell is going on here.”

Sparks was angry, but even he was surprised when sparks started flying out of his mouth. The first ones hit Officer Virginia Slims and she caught on fire and was burning up. This couldn’t be happening. He turned to look a Leonard, who was already running away.

Sparks yelled after him and flames shot out of his mouth and hit Gold squarely in the back. Gold caught on fire like a book of matches or a pack of cigarettes.

The air smelled like burned tobacco, and Sparks realized how much he actually missed smoking. Even after six years, the craving still seized him every now and then. Right now it was suddenly so strong he might just kill for a cigarette.

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I Hate L.A.!

LA the land of … well, you decide. Maybe this blog posting will help.

Tom Dupree's avatarYou and Me, Dupree

LAfreeway

Hate New York City, it’s cold and it’s damp…

Who didn’t enjoy the “cold open” to the 2013 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony? It happened a few weeks ago, but HBO preemed it to the nation late last month. In the midst of La-La Land, where the remaining top-down portion of the music business truly resides (sorry, Clive), Randy Newman tickled the ivories and teased about my town. By the time “Rand” acquired tempo, there were Tom Petty, Jackson Browne and John Fogerty standing up there with him, ready to help blast out the lyrics to a ditty so rockin and ultra-ironic that it almost got voted the official song of Los Angeles, however it is you do that. However…

[LITTLE SANTA MONICA?!]

Muchacho, I hate L.A.!

Now, I have some perfectly rational friends, lovely people all, who live and even thrive in La-La…

View original post 1,353 more words

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Patches”

Fog and night entwined;/

weavers obscuring the light./

Patchworked day unfolds.

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Writing tip Wednesday: “Making your own ‘cloud'”

by DAVID E. BOOKER

I hope as a writer you know the importance of backing up or saving in a different location copies of your work.

Typewriters had carbon paper. (Yes, I am old enough to have used that.) Early computers had floppy disks. (Yep, I used those, too.) Now there are thumb drives and external hard drives and even back up services such as JustCloud or Dropbox. Many of the cloud services offer free storage up to a set amount, often 5 GB (gigabytes) or something like that. While 5 GB doesn’t sound like much, you have to understand that stories, novels, poems, essays, and articles don’t take up much space. I used to keep many short stories on one 1.44 MB (megabyte) diskette.

But say you don’t have the time or inclination to store backups in the cloud and you can’t afford thumb drives or even an external hard drive. You still have a relatively inexpensive option for saving backup copies of your work simply by sending it to yourself.

You can make your own storage "cloud."

You can make your own storage “cloud.”

After you have completed your writing for the day, send an e-mail to yourself and attach the Word, Text, Open Office, etc. document you have been working on. You can create a folder in your e-mail account for each writing project or one folder for all the projects. You could probably even create a separate e-mail account to which you only send copies of the writings you are working on.

Setting up an e-mail account is not hard and it’s usually free, and as I said, documents heavy only with words don’t take up much space and should be easy to send as an attached file. For example, a novel I am working on entitled Dead Man Love is only 161KB for roughly 25,000 words, and it takes 1024 KB to equal 1 MB.

Plus, the one advantage of sending yourself a copy is that you have a snapshot of where you were on that particular draft on that particular day, so if you date the e-mails you send to yourself, you could find an earlier copy with something that you might have removed that you now want to put back.

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Monday morning writing joke: “political speech writers”

Q.: How may political speech writers does it take to change a light bulb?

A.: 28

Two to write a position paper on changing the light bulb.

Three to write the speech encouraging the American public to change the light bulb.

Four to write the bill that will get sent to Congress proposing new light bulb legislation.

Five to write the speeches explaining why the light bulb should be changed and why now the country needs big light bulb change.

Six to write the rebuttals from the United Light Bulb Coalition as to why the light bulb shouldn’t be changed.

And four to write the brief comments the President will make after signing the Light Restoration and Rectifying Act.

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In honor of National Doughnut Day, June 7

There once was a man with doughnuts
who suffered so many, he had a glut
It was food for thought
about the things he ought not
as he packed another dozen into his gut.

Nature abhors a doughnut hole, so eat a doughnut and please Nature.

Nature abhors a doughnut hole, so eat a doughnut and please Nature.

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Haiku to you Thursday: “Night kisses”

Night kisses my lips. /

Day whispers in my tired ear. /

Must I leave you now?

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Writing tip Wednesday: “‘Then’ is not a conjunction”

PenPal says: The word “then” is NOT a conjunction.

Jonathan Franzen, author of Freedom, The Corrections, Strong Motion, and The Twenty-Seventh City, says the following:

“Never use the word ‘then’ as a conjunction —- we have ‘and’ for this purpose. Substituting ‘then’ is the lazy or tone-deaf writer’s non-solution to the problem of too many ‘ands’ on the page.”

EXAMPLE I:
Incorrect: Sally filed her long, dangerous nails, then went to see the movie Sling Blade.

Correct: Sally filed her long, dangerous nails and then went to see the movie Sling Blade.

EXAMPLE II:
Incorrect: Buford put on his black tie with yellow kitties, then got scared of what Vera would think and replaced it with a yellow tie with green frogs.

Correct: Buford put on his black tie with yellow kitties, but when he considered what Vera might think, he replaced it with a yellow tie with green frogs.

In Example I, the addition of the word “and” and removal of the comma corrects the sentence.

In Example II, revised and more creative wording corrects the sentence.

EXERCISE: Read through a current story or article you are working on and circle the word “then” each time it appears. Now read back through to make sure each “then” is used correctly. If you find it used incorrectly as a conjunction, repair the sentence structure with either of the methods above. Strive to correct 90% of these errors with more creative wording rather than the simple addition of “and.”

________

Cathy Kodra a/k/a PenPal

Cathy Kodra a/k/a PenPal

About PenPal…
Cathy Kodra works as an independent editor in Knoxville, TN. Her poetry and short stories have appeared in numerous journals and anthologies including Roanoke Review, New Millennium Writings, Common Ground Review, Now & Then, Cavalier Literary Couture, Slow Trains, Still Crazy, The Medulla Review, Prime Mincer, Yemassee, and others. She is a contributing editor for New Millennium Writings and past guest poetry editor for The Medulla Review. She was first runner up in Prime Mincer’s 2011 Poetry Contest, judged by Rodney Jones, and took first place in the 2012 Old Gray Cemetery Poetry Contest. Cathy’s first poetry chapbook, Thin Ice, was published in 2011 by Medulla Publishing.

Cathy is a member of the Knoxville Writers’ Guild and of two local writing groups. An avid reader and writer, she is currently working on two poetry collections and a collection of short stories. Her hobbies include gardening and vegan cooking, and she lives happily with her husband Ron, two dogs, and a cat. She can be reached at www.cathykodra.com.

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cARtOONSDAY: nO rESPECT: “eNLIGHTENMENT”

The light of my words.

The light of my words.

I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. My wife held our first cook out over Memorial Day weekend, but it almost didn’t happen. She couldn’t get the coals to light. Then she did. And just before the guests arrived. After the cook out, I asked her what she’d used. She said she used one of my novels.

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Monday morning writing joke: “Road well traveled”

1st person: Why did the author cross the road?

2nd person: I don’t know, why?

1st person: To catch the agent on the other side.

2nd person: Why did the agent cross the road?

1st: To catch the editor on the other side.

2nd: And why did the editor cross the road?

1st: To catch the publisher on the other side.

2nd: Okay, then why did the publisher cross the road?

1st: He was following the chicken.

And why did the writer cross the road?

And why did the writer cross the road?

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