PenPal says: The word “then” is NOT a conjunction.
Jonathan Franzen, author of Freedom, The Corrections, Strong Motion, and The Twenty-Seventh City, says the following:
“Never use the word ‘then’ as a conjunction —- we have ‘and’ for this purpose. Substituting ‘then’ is the lazy or tone-deaf writer’s non-solution to the problem of too many ‘ands’ on the page.”
EXAMPLE I:
Incorrect: Sally filed her long, dangerous nails, then went to see the movie Sling Blade.
Correct: Sally filed her long, dangerous nails and then went to see the movie Sling Blade.
EXAMPLE II:
Incorrect: Buford put on his black tie with yellow kitties, then got scared of what Vera would think and replaced it with a yellow tie with green frogs.
Correct: Buford put on his black tie with yellow kitties, but when he considered what Vera might think, he replaced it with a yellow tie with green frogs.
In Example I, the addition of the word “and” and removal of the comma corrects the sentence.
In Example II, revised and more creative wording corrects the sentence.
EXERCISE: Read through a current story or article you are working on and circle the word “then” each time it appears. Now read back through to make sure each “then” is used correctly. If you find it used incorrectly as a conjunction, repair the sentence structure with either of the methods above. Strive to correct 90% of these errors with more creative wording rather than the simple addition of “and.”
________
Cathy Kodra a/k/a PenPal
About PenPal…
Cathy Kodra works as an independent editor in Knoxville, TN. Her poetry and short stories have appeared in numerous journals and anthologies including Roanoke Review, New Millennium Writings, Common Ground Review, Now & Then, Cavalier Literary Couture, Slow Trains, Still Crazy, The Medulla Review, Prime Mincer, Yemassee, and others. She is a contributing editor for New Millennium Writings and past guest poetry editor for The Medulla Review. She was first runner up in Prime Mincer’s 2011 Poetry Contest, judged by Rodney Jones, and took first place in the 2012 Old Gray Cemetery Poetry Contest. Cathy’s first poetry chapbook, Thin Ice, was published in 2011 by Medulla Publishing.
Cathy is a member of the Knoxville Writers’ Guild and of two local writing groups. An avid reader and writer, she is currently working on two poetry collections and a collection of short stories. Her hobbies include gardening and vegan cooking, and she lives happily with her husband Ron, two dogs, and a cat. She can be reached at www.cathykodra.com.
Booker's Blog 