Morning parts with rain: /
wet into dry, past from now, /
life touched and not touched.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
Even your life story might need a revision.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Elvis and Marilyn hanging out at the local pizzeria.
Marilyn and Elvis were hanging out at the local pizzeria on a Friday night, debating which one was best: the Hawaiian or the new Reuben pizza.
“Ain ith goof ta be deed?” Marilyn asked, balancing a slice of pizza on her tongue and doing her best not to spill any of the sauce on her white dress. She was waiting to meet her blind date, some guy named Arthur who claimed to be a playwright.
“One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four don’t you know, that sauce better not get on my blue suede shoes,” Elvis said.
“I said, ain’t it good to be dead?”
“That’s better, honey,” Elvis said, “Love me tender, love me true.”
The microphone did not appear to be working. It was there and that was all.
“We can hang out in places like this, put pizza on our tongues, and no one pays us any mind. We’re just a couple of crazy look-a-likes to the rest of the world.”
“But you got a date coming. All I got is my guitar,” Elvis said.
The bell above the door to the pizzeria jingled indicating somebody was coming inside. They both looked. If it was a live person, neither one would be able to see him or her. Not directly, anyway. Only an after image and only after a few minutes. It was the way things worked when you were dead.
They saw no one. They were all alone. Elvis and Marilyn. She put the slice of pizza on her tongue. It was the same slice she had most nights. She wasn’t hungry, so she never ate it, never even tried. That’s the way it was when you were dead.
[Author’s note: Photo finish Friday is a photo something around where I live that I think might be a good writing prompt. I try to include something written with the photo. If the photo inspires you to write something, please do. Please remember that all material is mine and respect the copyright of it. Thank you.]
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday, Story by author
Her eyes saw wonder, /
a world defiant of his. /
His beheld sadness.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
Pre-writing might help you write faster and clearer.
Pre-writing? Is that like rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher to make sure they get clean? you ask.
Sort of. The goal is at least equivalent. You pre-write with the idea in mind that it will help guide you to a better conclusion to that day’s writing.
It doesn’t take long. The amount of time pre-writing could depend on the number words or amount of time you are going to spend writing, but should probably be no more than ten minutes.
When you pre-write, you decide what scene it is you are working on and what should happen or that you want to happen in that scene.
For example, say Nick is in a hurry to get to the local BBQ restaurant to meet Kelly for their first date. You decide: Nick is nervous. He hasn’t had a date in almost a year and he always wanted to date Kelly. He is so nervous he mistakes his cologne for his shampoo and accidentally dumps most of his cologne on his head and now has to scramble to clean himself up and NOT reek of his favorite cologne, the one guaranteed to drive women mad. Kelly will certainly be mad if he arrives late.
Now, with that brief sketch of the scene, you write it out in more detail, but you know what he has done and what he is trying to do and what has happened to prevent him from accomplishing his goal of meeting Kelly on time, or even arriving a little ahead of time.
Give it a try and see if it works for you. See if it helps you write more in the same amount of time or write clearer. Some authors, such as Rachel Aaron in her e-book 2,000 to 10,000, How to write faster, write better, and write more of what you love.
I wonder how long it took her to write that title.
Filed under article by author, Writing Tip Wednesday
Idea in the corner pocket.
Some ideas just won’t stay put.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Q.: How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
A.: Ten.
1st draft: Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft: Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft: Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft: Lose the light bulb.
5th draft: Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft: Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero’s mentor.
7th draft: Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft: Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft: Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn’t change it.
10th draft: Hero changes light bulb.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
A young Ambrose Bierce
For example, here are definitions for Alien, Alliance, Ambidextrous, Ambition, and Amnesty. The Old definitions are Bierce’s. The New definitions are mine or somebody else contemporary. The new definitions can also be simply examples of The Devil’s Dictionary definitions. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today. Click on Devil’s Dictionary in the tags below to bring up the other entries.
OLD DEFINITION:
ALIEN, n. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMNESTY, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
NEW DEFINITIONS:
(ILLEGAL) ALIEN, n. An un-American scofflaw unable to achieve a probationary state of any sort, at least as seen by some radical conservative elements. For them ALIEN is always preceded by ILLEGAL. This distinguishes him from the American scofflaw, who with enough money and AMBITION can form at least one ALLIANCE in which he can pick the pockets of friends and foes alike.
ALLIANCE, n. In National and International politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third. However, as a grouped entity they often find a way to plunder others. The NRA plus the GOP being one fine example of how two groups manage to plunder a third, even to the point of death.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead. (Nothing much new need be added to this.)
AMNESTY, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish or who have enough money to acquire amnesty as one acquires a Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free card in Monopoly. In other words, it would be too “expensive” to ignore the offer.
Filed under Devil's Dictionary
In the hedge lay adventure.
Robbie said, “Ain’t so.”
“Is too,” Ray said back.
Robbie and Ray were each six years old. Robbie was a few months older, and on occasions like this, he like to remind Ray of that. They just weren’t sure what this occasion was. Still, Robbie was asserting his role as elder statesman to tell Ray he was wrong.
“It’s like Nose legend.,” Ray said “You know, that great fight called Rag in a rock.”
“This got nothin’ to do with that,” Robbie said. “Ain’t nothin’ more than a strange cut in the hedge for that box.”
“It’s a portal, I tell you. And those Nose gods will come pourin’ through it to do battle with them frost giants and there will be an army of Gideon.”
“Who’s that?” Robbie asked.
Ray shrugged. “Some guy who can pour armies.”
“Ain’t no army goin’ to come pourin’ out of that hole in the hedge. It don’t even go all the way through.”
“It’s still a portal,” Ray said, “and if you go and sit in it for six hours, you will see it: happening. I dare ya’. I double dog dare ya!”
Not one to turn down a double dog dare, Robbie snuck up on the rectangular. And to show he wasn’t scared at all, he climbed into the hole in the fence. He tried several different poses and a few words he wasn’t supposed to.
After thirty minutes, Robbie fell asleep in the portal. After another ten minutes had passed, Ray left and walked back to the family picnic where he immediately ate his ice cream allotment and Robbie’s, too.
Filed under humor, Photo by author, Story by author
He reached the road’s end. /
He stepped into the unknown. /
The first fright was love.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
Booker's Blog 