Part 22: Ring a bling
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
Q.: Did you hear the story about the pregnant woman writer who went into labor during deadline and began screaming, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
A.: She was having contractions.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Part 21: Gem and sales
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
Lightning … thunder … rain /
Wind scatters all that remains /
Memory … leaves … love
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
New Millennium Writings
$4,000 offered in Literary Grants and Awards, Plus Publication
$1,000 for best Poem
$1,000 for best Fiction
$1,000 for best Nonfiction (Nonfiction includes humor, memoir, creative nonfiction, travel, opinion, essay, interview, features, investigative reporting, etc.)
$1,000 for best Short-short Fiction
Visit www.newmillenniumwritings.com for user-friendly guidelines and much more, or jump straight to www.writingawards.com and employ our simple submissions process.
To apply online, follow these guidelines
1. No restrictions as to style, content or number of submissions. Enter as often as you like.
2. Winners announced beginning in September. All contestants will receive our high-quality 2014 anthology.
3. Send between now and June 17, 2013, Midnight, all U.S. time zones.
4. Simultaneous & multiple submissions welcome. Previously published material welcome if under 5,000-circulation or if previously published online only.
5. Each fiction or nonfiction piece is counted as a separate entry, and should total no more than 6,000 words except Short-Short Fiction (no more than 1,000 words).
6. Each poetry entry may include up to three poems, not to exceed five pages total per entry. All poetry Honorable Mentions will be published.
7. Save cover sheet or letter with the submission you’ll be uploading and send as one file. Should you forget to include such covers, however, it’s OK, as contact information is automatically forwarded to us when you pay online.
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9. Each entry must be in a separate file (up to 3 poems in one file (See #6)). Many file formats are accepted.
Filed under writing contest, Writing Tip Wednesday
Part 20: Paws to re-consider a clue.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author, storytelling
Q.: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
Filed under Monday morning writing joke
Part 19: The hunch was on.
Filed under cartoon by author, Eleanor and Rose, Story by author
[Editor’s note: Every now and then I will post a photo with a caption or a short poem or a bit of writing to it. You are free to make up own captions or comments.]
The invading force was hidden inside a giant Brooks Catsup Bottle.
There it was. The invading force was hidden inside a giant Brooks Catsup Bottle. He was sure of it.
“There it is,” David said to himself. When we go to sleep tonight, the alien invading force will unscrew the top of the giant bottle, sneak out, and cut the throats of all able-bodied males, slather the women in red ooze, and tie up the children with supersized french fries. Somehow, he had to muster the courage to tell the town’s people an invasion was coming and likely coming tonight, and that the aliens would be flowing out of the giant bottle like spilled milk. He didn’t relish all the derisive comments he’d have to face and maybe even a rotten tomato or two thrown at him. After all, this wasn’t the first alien invasion he’d been privy to. Or even the second. He didn’t call this the Condiment Wars for nothing.
Filed under Photo by author, Photo Finish Friday
When the world’s empty /
and holds no love, you will have /
evolved to your Hell.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
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