The other day a young man approached me. He said he had a sure-fire mathematical way of understanding Mitt Romney. And that it would prove he was the best man for the job.
At first I wanted nothing to do with this, but he seemed earnest and so since we both waiting for the rain to stop, I said, “Okay, tell me.”
He asked, “What number in the alphabet is the letter ‘R’?”
I hesitated while I did a quick counting in my head. “Eighteen?”
“Right. And 1 plus 8 is 9 and 9 is an upside down 6. And the ‘O’ in Obama is the fifteenth letter of the alphabet and 1 plus 5 is 6, which is the number of the beast in the Bible. See?”
I wasn’t sure I saw anything, but after a pause said, “But I thought the number of the beast is 6-6-6.”
He looked at me as if I were about to trick him. “So?”
“So, what’s 6 plus 6 plus 6?”
“Eighteen.” He said it slowly as if it was new math or old math brought back to torment him.
And maybe the R-R-R is just a 6-6-6 in disguise.
“And eighteen is 1 and 8, and 1 plus 8 is 9. The same number as the ‘R’ in Romney or Ryan. And there are three R’s is front of Romney’s name – a blue one, a white one, and a red one – in his yard sign, just like there are three six’s in the number of the beast. And what’s more, 18 plus 18 plus 18 equals 54 and 5 plus 4 is also 9. Freaky, don’t you think? Maybe it means Romney is secretly the beast in disguise and if elected it will be the beginning of the End Times.”
Even though the rain hadn’t stopped, the young man decided to walk out in it. A flash of lightning and a clap of thunder greeted him.
I never knew math could be so much fun. Maybe with the next one I can talk about science.
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