Daily Archives: September 8, 2012

The blathering idiot and politics, part 3, mascot 2

The blathering idiot wanted to take a photo of the new mascot of the Pro-Accordion Party, but he didn’t know how to work the camera on his smart phone. After fumbling and trying for nearly half a hour, Xenia offered to help and had the photo taken in less than five minutes.

“How can the man running for the biggest office in the land not know how to operate the camera on his phone? You do know how to use a computer, don’t you?”

The blathering idiot felt Xenia’s eyes on him.

So, this must be what it’s like having the eyes of the world upon you, waiting for your next word, you next action. A tingle darted up his spine.

She stared at him a little more, squint here eyes slightly.

Finally, he said, “When elected to the highest office in the land, I will have people to do that for me.”

“Am I your people?”

“If you want to be.”

She paused for a moment and he stared at her.

Finally, she said, “I’ll think about it. It won’t interfere with my homework, will it? My mom won’t let me do anything after school that interferes with my homework.”

“I promise, it won’t.”

#

Lydia was not as taken with the photo of the mascot, or the mascot idea itself. She looked at the screen on his smart phone, then looked over at the blathering idiot.

“You sure you want to be the candidate for the PAP?”

“More than anything,” he said.

She looked at him a little while longer.

He felt sweat running down the back of his neck and down the back of his shirt.

“And I have people now.”

“As long as it doesn’t interfere with homework,” Xenia said.

The blathering idiot smiled. “Just think. Our slogan could be: ‘We get there, eventually.’”

Lydia frowned.

“Or … or we may pull back, but we never pull out.”

She frowned even more. “Are you sure—”

“I have people now.”

She closed her eyes and moved her lips without saying anything.

A prayer? The blathering idiot wasn’t sure.

She opened her eyes and asked, “May I?”

He nodded and she took his cell phone into the meeting in the small conference room in the middle of the small storefront on a not-so-busy street.

Just like before, there were loud voices. Then there was table pounding. Then somebody pounded on the wall.

After a while, the pounding stopped and then the voices went quiet.

The door to the conference room opened and out walked Lydia. She wasted no steps in walking straight up to the blathering idiot. She handed him his smart phone back.

After he had it back, she said, “It was close, but it’s either you or the mascot. One of you has to go.”

“But—”

“One of you has to go. And to be honest with you, if I had spent any more time in that room, I might have voted with those wanting to get rid of you both.”

Pro-Accordion Party mascot" the turtle

Pro-Accordion Party mascot and slogan: We may pull back, but we never pull out.

The blathering idiot almost couldn’t meet Lydia’s gaze. It was hard deciding to give up on an idea he cherished. It was one of the most difficult things he had had to decide on in a long time, maybe even.

The blathering idiot sighed.

This running for the highest office was a lot harder than it looked.

(To be continued, more or less.)

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Filed under 2012, blathering idiot, Photo by author, Pro-Accordion Party