In the end, somebody may get his just desserts.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday
Not exactly the hot spot I had in mind.
I’m a writer and I don’t get no respect. Just the other day my mother came over for a visit. She’s a religious woman of sorts. She said she had something that she thought would help me write. She asked if she could hang it in my office. I thought maybe it was a poster with some writing quotes on it. I said okay. She hung it and then left.
When I entered the office, I found the item. It was a plaque. It read: “You are cordially invited to the theological place of eternal punishment.”
Below that she had placed a sticky note that read: “Love, Mom.”
Filed under cartoon by author, Monday morning writing joke, no respect
[Editor’s note: This is more than the headline or a line from the article, though the title is a bit odd: Girlfriend upset that parents are dating. The girlfriend of one of the parents. Dating her? I thought the title and letter/response was worth posting. It is from the “Ask Amy” advice column that appears in my local newspaper.]
DEAR AMY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years.
(Ed. note: Each other, I assume, but this point is unclear. They could have been dating several people for a total time of two years.)
We plan on getting married someday.
(Ed note: Isn’t that what they always say?)
Yesterday we found out that his mom and my dad have been secretly dating.
(Ed. note: I guess it is a secret no longer.)
Neither his mom nor my father seems to see our problem with this. But if they continue dating and decide they want to get married, doesn’t that mean my boyfriend and I would now be brother and sister?
(Ed. note: Ah, the human genome conundrum.)
Is there any way I can talk sense into them?
–Betrayed
Once upon a half-cocked notion…
DEAR BETRAYED: If you truly believe that your boyfriend’s mother and your father marrying would turn you to into siblings, then — please — do not get married and procreate.
(Ed. note: Definitely good advice.)
If your respective parents are single and available, then there is no reason they can’t (or shouldn’t) date.
(Ed. note: Except maybe the chance that they could produce a half-Betrayed child.)
However, while there is nothing you can (or should) do to prevent these two adults from dating, you do have a right to express yourselves. Mainly, you should do your best to communicate your discomfort to both parents. They should do their best to be open with you.
If these two got married and you also got married, you and your guy would become both step-siblings and spouses.
(Ed. note: and the step-mother would also be the mother-in-law and the step-father would also be the father-in-law. Think of all the money and headache that would be saved at Christmas and other holidays, especially if the young couple has children. And if the older couple has a child, too, then you have a step-child that’s stepping all over the human genome! Oh, the humanity!)
“The scariest moment is always just before you start.”
–Stephen King
Filed under Stephen King, Writers on writing
Suppose one morning you woke up, and over breakfast opened the morning paper to find this ad thanking you for services rendered?
Would an advertisement such as this flatter you? Notice the heart border?
Such was the case for Mr. George Brownridge because of a shopping rip he arranged for some women. Something done every year. Some details here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2178757/George-Brownridge-thanked-pleasing-15-women-entire-day-hilarious-newspaper-ad.html
Once made aware of their possible … ah … screw up, the ladies had this ad published:
An apology for any misconstruing of information.
No word as to whether Mr. Brownridge felt appreciative or deflated by the apology.
Filed under 2012, Ripped from the headlines
[Editor’s note: “I once was blue, too” was written a bit tongue in cheek in response to a friend on Facebook who changed his profile photo to an all-blue photo. I have included it here. After writing it and reading it, I think it holds up fairly well, so I thought I would post it here to annoy a few more people.]
What do you see in this wild blue yonder?
I once was very blue
then one day I saw you
and because of your blue hue
I could no longer be blue, too.
When asked if this was true,
I said what else could I do?
Next, I tried being red
but it all went to my head
and it filled me with fiery dread.
What else could be said?
I then tried being green,
but it was the worst I’d ever seen
so bad as to be obscene
Everywhere I went, I made a scene.
I tried be being yellow
a sallow looking fellow
Not too bright and not too mellow
Still people wanted to bellow.
Up next, I tried being gray
and though on my beard it did stay
I sent the rest of it away.
I’ll deal with it another day.
Other colors I tried, too:
purples, oranges, and violet brews
but none fit me quite like blue.
But what else was I to do?
I could not be as blue as you.
Filed under Freeform Friday, poetry by author
Ashes ride the night,
jilted lovers lost in flight.
Rain’s touch reunites.
Filed under Haiku to You Thursday, poetry by author
“[The writer] has to be the kind of man who turns the world upside down and says, lookit, it looks different, doesn’t it?”
—Morris West
Filed under Writers on writing
The Golden Age of Authors: Why Books Are Alive and Well
In an article on the Huffington Post web site, writer and publicist Arielle Ford wrote about this Golden Age and gave six reasons why. They are listed below. To read the entire article go to link listed below.
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arielle-ford/the-golden-age-of-authors_b_975119.html#es_share_ended
Here are six reasons why today is the ideal time to pursue your dream of being an author:
It’s all you. Thanks to the Internet, you can now control your destiny to a greater degree than ever before. Between Facebook, Twitter, online book launches, YouTube, and far more online resources than I can list here, you’ve never had as much power to spread your message, grow your audience, and build a rewarding career as an author/speaker/expert.
All the secrets are out. When I first started in publishing, discussing the How To’s of succeeding as an author was like flashing your g-string at the company party. Today, industry insiders like me are happy to share the strategies and tactics successful authors use to get their books in as many hands as possible.
Being you has never been so valuable. Self-expression is in. Personality pays. These are the fundamental truths of today’s wild world online. If ever there was a time to hone your expertise and build your following, it is, most certainly, now.
Everyone’s nobody until they’re Somebody. Tim Ferriss, Deepak Chopra, Suze Orman — they all experienced the ultimate in anonymity until the day they became Somebody. Thankfully, the Internet has placed those reins firmly in your hands. Look at Justin Halpern, who got a major book (and sitcom!) deal, thanks to his outrageously popular Twitter feed.
Your book opens doors. A successful book can be your gateway to bigger, better opportunities. From growing your business to leveraging media attention to launching a new career, a top-selling book gives you far more credibility, and your expertise far more value.
Success is not a magic pill. When you’re not where you want to be in your career or your life, it’s easy to idolize people who have achieved what you aspire to. The truth is, people like you become bestselling authors every week. They didn’t suddenly land on the New York Times bestseller list. They dedicated themselves, usually over a period of years, to achieving their dreams.
Filed under Uncategorized
Growing out of it can mean different things to different people at different times in their lives.
Filed under cartoon by author, CarToonsday, Philosopher
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