“Honest, prof,” the physics major said. “It was either split my infinities or split my infinitives, and to boldly chose, I choose the later.”
“The structure of a sentence may not be as wondrous as that of the universe,” the English professor said, doing his best to keep his umbrage in check. “But let me assure you, young Einstein, that to split your infinitives instead of your infinities has forced me to put an end to your escapades with an un-split grade of ‘F.’”
From that day forward, the physics student split infinitives no more, going to and fro, but boldly no more.
So what moral can you take from this little tale of woe?
Split your wood, split your pants, split your atoms, and if you must, split your mind, but to split your infinitives can lead to an infinitely bad time.
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