Monthly Archives: October 2011

October 31, 2011 · 9:16 pm

Cravings

Man in Halloween mask

Trick or Treat

Cravings

Halloween evening.
The dead amongst us this hour
crave “sweets” to devour.

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October 30, 2011 · 10:27 pm

The Devil’s Dictionary: then and now: abasement

Every now and then, it is good to revisit a classic, or even a curiosity from the past. The Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce was originally published in newspaper installments from 1881 until 1906. You might be surprised how current many of the entries are.

For example, here is a definition for the word abasement. The first definition is Bierce’s. The second one is mine. From time to time, just as it was originally published, we will come back to The Devil’s Dictionary, for a look at it then and how it applies today.

Abasement, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power. Particularly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.

Recent chart showing what a CEO makes versus the average worker makes in several developed nations throughout the world:

Pay ratio

Comparison of pay rate ratio in U.S. and other countries

Abasement, n. Where we are all going to be living as the wealthy 10 percent in the U.S. accumulate even more wealth beyond the 2/3 percent of the net wealth they already have, and the rest of us have to go live in a basement somewhere.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/05/us-inequality-infographic_n_845042.html#s261411&title=Wage_Inequality

http://motherjones.com/politics/2011/02/income-inequality-in-america-chart-graph

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Image

Channeling your inner pumpkin

20111029-115807.jpg

Once upon a daytime chilly,
While I pondered things less silly,
Came a knocking at my door
Two pumpkins too ugly to ignore.

I asked them to go and leave me,
I told them staying would not please me.
But all they said was “Ever more.”
All they said was “Ever more.”

I did immediately beseech them,
I did all I could to entreat them
To not come darkening my door.
But all they said was “Ever more.”

I tried to hide from them.
I tried to chide at them.
But all my snides they did ignore.
And all they said was “Ever more.”

I did not know what they had in store.
They did not run; they did not bore.
They did not talk, except “Ever more,”
Until I could not stand it, stand it no more.

I took an axe and I whacked the floor.
Still they stayed close by the door.
And would not say what they wanted me for,
So one became a stew to even the score.

I threw the other into a pie.
Though to this day I know not why.
But ever time at this time of year,
When the days are cool and the nights are clear,

I hear a tapping at my door
And a sound I can’t ignore
It goes on forever more.
And I say nothing, save “Ever more.”

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October 29, 2011 · 12:25 pm
October 28, 2011 · 8:50 pm

Come undone

The strands come undone.
My words cannot bind my deeds.
Heart sick, thoughts empty.

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October 27, 2011 · 10:20 pm

I have a haunted bathroom

I have a haunted bathroom,
A sink that runs with blood.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s full of grime and crud.

I have a haunted bathroom,
From toilet nary a stink.
I have a haunted bathroom,
Because a ghost there stops to drink.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Its walls are cracked and old.
I have a haunted bathroom,
It’s a place too scary for mold.

I have a haunted bathroom,
A bathtub full of red.
I have a haunted bathroom,
An alien bathes there it is said.

I have a haunted bathroom
A cracked mirror in which to stare.
I have a haunted bathroom.
It is beyond repair.

I have a haunted bathroom
With a curtain nice and thick.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you open it, you’ll say, “Ick!”

Haunted bathroom photo

I have a hauted bathroom....

I have a haunted bathroom.
Enter, if you dare.
I have a haunted bathroom,
If you look, the word is there.

I have a haunted bathroom,
With a picture of my home.
I have a haunted bathroom,
A place I like to roam.

I have a haunted bathroom,
Come visit me on Halloween.
I have a haunted bathroom,
The spookiest you’ve ever seen.

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October 22, 2011 · 11:09 pm

The misunderstood PPE gargles

The misunderstood PPE gargles
Are related to the ancient fargles.
They live in a land
Of neither rock nor sand,
But they fit over eyes like sparkles.

These oddly named PPE gargles
Can only be worn by gargoyles.
When they sit on the edge
Of a building or ledge
The gargles give their eyes stargles.

These stargles come out in the night
When there is no moon or no light.
And only the gargoyles can see
With their gargles PPE
All the wonders and terrible frights.

Fargles were gargles of a time
When the gargoyles lived in the brine.
And all they could see
Without the fargles that be
Was the salt, the sea, and the grime.

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Gargoyle with his PPE gargles

Now armed with their PPE gargles
Gargoyles with stare at their stargles
They will sit on their ledge
Whole worlds in their heads.
And nary burp, nor chirp, nor hargle.

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Filed under abreviation, absurdity, animals, Cartoon, fargles, fun, gargles, gargoyle, Halloween, holiday, humor, imagination, poem, poetry, PPE, Random Access Thoughts, Random thought, story poem, word play, words, writing

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October 17, 2011 · 10:05 pm

Quote of the day — programming

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
–Rich Cook

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October 16, 2011 · 12:00 am

Brother, can you spare a controversy?

“Change is one thing, progress is another. ‘Change’ is scientific, ‘progress’ is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy.” ~ Bertrand Russell

If still alive, I wonder what Bertrand Russell would make of Rick Perry and a host of others, mostly conservative Republicans, who find climate change dubitable indeed. Then again, Perry and company don’t have much truck with science. Progress as they define it is not a matter of controversy. Change, however, is. And if they have to change the way they think or act or the truck they drive, well, that’s the most controversial of all.

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October 15, 2011 · 5:22 pm

Would you trust this man?

Rep. Curry Todd's arrest photo

Would you trust this man with a gun?

Would you trust this man with a handgun?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-Memphis police officer?

Would you trust him if you knew he was an ex-police officer with a .38-caliber handgun tucked between the driver’s seat and console of his SUV?

Would you trust him if you knew he refused to take a Breathalyzer test, after being stopped by Nashville police officers for driving 60 miles per hour in a 40 mph zone and weaving across the double yellow lines on a street near Vanderbilt University?

Would you trust him if you knew he was Tennessee state Representative, Republican from Collierville?

Would you trust him if you knew he was the House sponsor of the bill (later mad law) allowing handguns in bars?

If so, Curry Todd, the man in photo, is the person you would trust.

Your tax dollars at work.

It will be interesting see how the state Republicans protect one of their own who to the serve part of the motto “to Protect and Serve” to mean how many drinks he could serve himself and still drive.

Sources:
http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/lawmaker-arrested-on-drunken-driving-gun-charges/

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/sponsor-of-tennessee-guns-in-bars-bill-charged/
 

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October 13, 2011 · 12:31 pm

Starting with the obvious

Why men shouldn't write advice columns

Some things need no commentary, but I have one below anyway.

Editor’s comment: Some say this is an example of why men should not write advice columns. I say it’s an example of missing the obvious. First, the advice guy should have told the writer to check to make sure there was enough gas in the car’s tank. An empty gas tank and a car will stall easily. Geez, some people never want to start with obvious.

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