Daily Archives: July 22, 2010

Didn’t you know, there’s a secret marketing department office called SuDoo? Their job is to make things super-silly-to-us, or supercilious when said fast enough. They once had a sign that hung on their door that said “Supercilious Department.” Others called it “the SD door” for short. The sign was so heavy that it kept falling off. At first, people walking by would pick it up, knock on the door, and give the sign to whomever answered. Eventually, people got tired of this, especially since the people inside never said thank you. Finally, the sign fell down and nobody picked it up or knocked on the door to tell the SD their sign was down. The work day ended and as the first SD member stepped through the door, he stepped on the sign. It shattered under his weight and shot out in different directions, one piece wedging under the door to the Supercilious Department, preventing them from closing it. Because he had shattered the sign and the door couldn’t be fixed for several weeks, the sign breaker was stationed at the door to keep people out. He became known as the Supercilious Department Door Keeper, which was too long for people in the office to say, so it became shorted to the Supercilious Door Keeper, and eventually SDK. But the head of the Supercilious Department didn’t like that and insisted that the first time people greeted the door keeper, they had to refer to him as the Supercilious Department Door Keeper. Subsequent references during the day could be shorted to Supercilious Door Keeper. One day, a new employee from another department had a package that needed to go immediately to the Supercilious Department Head, but when he got to the door, he found the Supercilious Department Door Keeper would not let him in. The Door Keeper told him he could send a note inside the department, and the person for whom the package was addressed, could come forward and get it. The new employee pulled and pen and a scrap piece of paper out of his pocket and began his note. Unfortunately, the pen ran out of ink, and so the employee couldn’t finish his note, and since this employee was late for another meeting, he left the package outside the door. The Door Keeper forgot about the package, and eventually it was time to leave work. As the head of the department left, he saw the package, picked it up, recognized its importance, and looked around. When he spotted the Door Keeper making his way to the elevator, he yelled out, “Hey, you, Supercilious Door K—.” It was then that the package exploded. The Department head lost his, and as it turned out, the package was not what he thought it was, but in loving tribute to the Department head who lost his, the rest of the department and eventually those throughout the building referred to the Supercilious Door Keeper as the Supercilious Dork. Over time, the Supercilious Dork rose to be head of the department and because he was so stigmatized and traumatized by what happened that day, he has forever more made it his mission to shorten the names of things. And he never picks up strange packages, especially ones addressed to Supercilious Dork.