The Sleaze bolted forth and jumped ship,
Taking the “valise” along as a conscript.
He floated ashore,
Holding portmanteau’s door,
And then his mind did a dangerous flip.
Monthly Archives: May 2010
And his mind did a dangerous flip
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, story poem, words, writing
Did not take to stress well
The captain, upon inspecting his vessel,
Found a suitcase too big yet to wrestle.
Finally shoving it aside,
He grabbed for Sleaze’s hide –
Chasing a man who did not take to stress well.
Filed under limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing
Size does matter
The blue portmanteau was quite mad
To be kidnapped by this ignorant cad.
After all, size does matter —
A valise’s innards will scatter
Across a cargo hold only a tad.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, words, writing
The Man of Sleaze
The portmanteau and the Lady
Were sightseeing where it was shady,
When a man of sleaze
Said, “What a fine valise.”
And pirated portmanteau to Haiti.
Filed under limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, villains, writing
The Portmanteau
There once was a portmanteau
With a mind of its own and blue.
So away it went
With the Lady of Kent.
This is a story — that’s true.
Filed under humor, limerick, poem, poetry, portmanteau, Random Access Thoughts, writing
There Once was a Lady from Kent
There once was a lady from Kent
Who know not which way she went.
Coming or going,
Going or coming,
She said it was time well spent.
The blame, the blame, it’s the blame
Okay, I accept the blame. I promise to do better next time and only keep you up slightly past your bed times, more or less, depending on the time zone differential and the quantum variables inherent in the shift to and from insanity, calibrated for the cosmic drift, divided by the universal constant, multiplied by a factor of factor where the q of a is equal to the sum of the parts of the partial sum, square rooted by a rutabaga.
Welcome to … my Fantasy Island
Filed under Random Access Thoughts, writing
Mother’s Day 2010
There once was a woman from Illinois,
Who one year gave birth to a boy.
If asked on this day,
Of him she will say,
“If I were Jewish, I’d say, ‘Oy!'”
Filed under humor, limerick, Mother's Day, Random Access Thoughts
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist (True Story)
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
You’re gonna love this…
NASA responded with a one-line memo — “Defrost the chicken.”
That bit of information probably wasn’t in the User’s Guide.
Filed under Chicken, NASA, Random Access Thoughts
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